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Posts tagged husband
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
Aug 26th
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
Aug 12th
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.
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Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: “What did you …
Jul 30th
Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: “What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?”
He says: “I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry”.
She says: “What are you thinking now?”
“Looks like I did a pretty good job!”
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A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. …
Jul 27th
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, “What’s that for?” “It’s for your headache.” “I don’t have a headache.”
He replies, “Gotcha!”
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Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than …
Jul 21st
Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.
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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet …
Jul 17th
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?”
“What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
“I think you’re bad luck.”
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. …
Jul 5th
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
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A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so …
Jun 24th
A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. “You aren’t so good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmorning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife picked up the phone. “What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you doing in bed this late?”
“Getting a second opinion.”
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A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas … …
Jun 14th
A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas …
“I don’t like it” she says, “I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds.”
So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says “stand on that you fat fucker!”
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